I Wish
by FairytailFan101
Summary: Summary: Church bells ring throughout Magnolia, a special occasion was taking place at Kardia cathedral. A wedding. As the bride and groom exchange their vows a heart broken girl can't help but to look away from the scene, who is that girl! You'll have to read the story to find out! Entry for WolfieAnne's one-shot contest! I know I'm still bad at summaries but please read!


_**I WISH**_

_**Pairing: RoguexLucy-RoLu  
**_

_Italics: thoughts of the current person's P.O.V or letters_

**Bold: **_ **P.O.V's, chapters, chapter titles and info inside brackets**_

_**Disclaimer: If you google up "who made Fairy Tail" it's still not me -.-**_

_**Summary: Church bells ring throughout Magnolia, a special occasion taking place at Kardia cathedral. A wedding. As the bride and groom exchange their vows a heart broken girl can't help but to look away from the scene, who is that girl?! You'll have to read the story to find out! Entry for WolfieAnne's one-shot contest!  
**_

_**Author's Note!**_

_**Ohayou minna! I know I should be writing the next chappy for Only You but this is for WolfieAnne's one-shot contest! I hope you guys don't mind! By don't worry I'm writing the next chappy right after this chapter! Please review I would like to know what you guys think and Read on! oh yes and WolfieAnne! If you're reading this can you please tell me if this entry for your one-shot contest is late! Arigato gozaimasu!**_

_**Lesson/Quote summarising part of the story: **_

"_**You may not love me today, tomorrow, or ever, but I will love you until it kills me, and, even then, you'll be in my heart." **_

"_**Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."**_

_**Neil Gaiman**_

_**Hehehe I couldn't pick between the two so I just picked both of them!**_

_**Chapter 1: Why couldn't it be me?!**_

With each step I take on the aisle my heart flutters uncontrollably while a twisted feeling was bubbling up in the pit of my stomach. When I realised I wasn't the one getting married..._You're not the one getting married Lucy! Yukino is! W-with...R-Rogue..._ A painful stab punctured deep into my heart almost making me trip on the aisle. _Get a hold of yourself! You wouldn't look good if you messed up Yukino's wedding! Besides you want to show your support for them! Even...even if your hurting on the inside..._

I took a sharp intake of air while brushing away the tears pricking my eyes. I felt a cold hand gently grip my shoulders and I immediately looked over my to face the person invading my personal space. I came face to face with a worried looking Mira, she mouthed a silent "are you okay?!" I smiled at her and gave her a little nod. She looked unconvinced but nevertheless ended the conversation, it wouldn't do to have a mini argument while the wedding was under way! Mira knew about my hopeless crush on one of my best friends, Rogue. She was after all the one who had set us up in hopes that we would become more than friends but this time things didn't go Mira's way...we remained friends even though it was painful for me to be with him after our little date, I was falling hopelessly in love with him while he fell for Yukino. When I had heard about their relationship I was appalled though I plastered a fake smile on my face showing them false joy and happiness, and when he proposed to her a few months back that was when I let the tears fall. Of course I brushed it off and labelled it as "tears of joy" when they questioned me about it, I grieved that night and all the other nights after that.

No-one knew of my pain, no-one except Mira and Levy...they visited me one night to find that I had slit my wrists in front of the bathroom mirror, blood coated the porcelain sink making both of them gag and wretch in horror. Mira immediately treated my wounds while Levy cleaned up the mess my blood had left, they had been visiting my house ever since that little incident trying to soothe me and prevent me from doing more self harm. One day I had finally had enough, I saw them kissing passionately in the park with not a care in the world as to who was watching... after that I had ran back home, locked the door in the bathroom and took out the knife hidden in the bathroom cabinet. I was about to drive the knife right into my stomach when suddenly I saw a little note half-hidden behind the mirror. I took it out and read it:

_Want to kill yourself Lucy?_

_Imagine this, you come home from the guild one day. You've had yet another horrible day and you're just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you've written and rewritten over and over and over again. You take out those razor blades, knives and cut yourself for the very last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Lying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time in your life. A few hours later, Natsu comes through the window and tells you to go cook him dinner... you don't answer, so he jumps out planning to visit later. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks you're asleep. He tells Erza this and being the curious woman she was Erza goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd, she grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up, her usual composure and strictness gone in an instant. She's screaming your name, Natsu looks up at the sobbing Erza worried and confused, so he runs to go tell Gray. He tells Gray that Erza is crying and Lucy won't wake up, suspicious Gray runs to your room. He looks at Erza and was shocked to find that Natsu was telling the truth. Erza was a wreck, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him like a brick, shakes you so hard trying in vain to wake you up, he screams in pain and frustration. He throws the empty __pill bottle at the wall and then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. He mutters something about losing his precious little sister while Erza crawls over to him, still sobbing and shows him the letter you made. Holding the letter he starts sobbing uncontrollably. The next day at the guild, there's an announcement. Master tells everyone about your suicide, It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves for not realising your pain sooner... Juvia and Evergreen think of all the things they've said to you and all of the things they did. Happy, the one who always teases you and calls you names, he can't help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really were and that you weren't that fat. Your friends? They're sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best friend? She's in shock. She can't believe it. She knew what you were going through, but she never thought it would get that bad? Bad enough for you to end it. She can't cry, she can't feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out. It's a few days later, at your funeral, the whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talked about all the good memories they had with you and there were a lot. Natsu doesn't believe your dead, he doesn't want to face reality, more like he can't face reality. Erza and Gray hold him down saying over and over again that your dead. It hurts him, a lot. You were his best friend, partner. You were supposed to always be there for him... Your best friend? She stays strong through the entire service but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn't stop for days. It's two years later. The whole guild talks to a counsellor/therapist at least once a week. Juvia and Evergreen regrets all the things they did to you. Happy doesn't eat fish anymore. Your friends all go into depression. Your best friend? She tried to kill herself. She didn't succeed like you did, but she tried?Natsu can't take it anymore he self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Gray became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Erza got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day and you can't blame her, you were one of her best friends, one of the few people she opened up to and now you were gone from her life... People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don't just effect you. They effect everyone. Don't end your life, you have so much to live for. Things can't get better if you give up, I'm here for you if you ever need to talk. I have a many reasons why you shouldn't end your life Lucy, everyone will miss you... ( I did not make this up! It was originally from a chain mail I received from my friend but I edited it and put in the guild and stuff and anything about Fairy Tail!)_

I thought about it and put the knife back where it was hidden, I folded the note and clenched it in between my hands. I stopped self harming myself after that but that didn't stop me from my suicidal thoughts... Days afterwards Yukino came up to me and asked me to be her maid of honour. I disguised my heartbreaking pain with my usual joyfully and bubbly personality, I nodded my head while saying a long line of yes and thanks. But beneath all the happy exterior a depressed and gloomy Lucy hid in the dark. Many things happened after that which led to this present day, Bridal showers, Yukino's bachelorette party, many things.

I had finally reached the end of the aisle, I looked up to Rogue but his eyes were fixed onto the long line of brides maids behind me searching for his soon-to-be wife. I bit my bottom lip to stop even the tiniest of tears from leaking out and rushed over to the end of the top row of beautifully decorated seats.  
The priest uttered a long line of words and soon it came to the most painful part of the wedding ceremony...

"Do you Yukino Aguria take Rogue Cheney to be your lawfully wedded husband?" He asked

"Yes" her voice was like a peal of bells. _Rogue..._

"And do you Rogue Cheney take Yukino Aguria as your lawfully wedded wife?"

"Yes" his lips curled into a smile, his blood red eyes glowing brighter by the second. _He seems so happy... Happier than I had ever made him... He belongs to Yukino... Not me... Never was and never will...  
_  
"If anyone has reason why these two should not be joined in Holy Matrimony, let him speak now or forever hold his peace" The priest was answered by silence. I had the urge to stop the wedding right then and there but I made a promise to support those two and a Celestial mage never breaks their promises... _And I am no exception... _I clench my hands while I bit my already abused lower lip to stop the regretful words from stuttering out. Mira looked at me and nudged my arm as if in encouragement to stop the wedding, reluctantly I shook my head and face the two my eyes brimming with tears. _Y__amete... just please...please stop...  
_  
"I now pronounce you! Husband and Wife! You may now kiss the bride!" Rogue took Yukino in his arms and gave her a passionate kiss. At this everyone jumped up in joy clapping and giving out wolf whistles. The tears leaked out while I cupped my face to stop the sobs coming out of my mouth. _I never thought it would be this painful to lose the one you love...I thought I had already felt it like a million times before...but apparently not...  
_  
Everyone surrounded the newly wedded couple rejoicing at their marriage. While I silently walked out of the cathedral a lone tear cascading down my porcelain cheeks. What I didn't notice was the sad stare that Mira gave me, I take out the note hidden in my little purse and re-read it.

_Dear Fairy Tail and the newly weds,_

Lately I haven't been feeling that well, I don't mean like I'm sick no, it's much more serious than that. I have been self-harming myself, slitting my wrists every now and then, I had even considered and even tried to kill myself once. But Mira and Levy were the ones that stopped me from committing suicide, they helped me get over my pain. And what is my pain exactly?! Heartbreak. It may not seem much but that is because you don't know the pain I'm feeling, you have no idea how much it hurts. But even in pain I still put on the smile of mines to keep everyone happy, none of you noticed how fake it was, none of you noticed the pain behind that mask of mines and most importantly, the one I love didn't even notice how it pained me to see him kissing another girl. How it pained me to see him proposing to her, I always thought we would live happily after, the both of us, but that was not what Fate had wanted. No, Fate wanted me to writhe in pain, I sat in the dark hoping for an escape but realising that my rescuer would never come... You have probably already figured out who this mystery person is but if you haven't yet the person who I fell deeply in love with, the _person that can never be mines is... Rogue Cheney..._

If you're reading this Rogue, Yukino, please don't blame yourself for my death. I want you to know that it wasn't your fault you two fell in love, it was my fault for falling in love with the wrong man... I hope my death won't affect your marriage I really do. Sometimes people are meant to die for a reason, my reason well. It's because I finally felt what everybody in the world you or old have either already felt or will feel it soon. I have learned to love another person, felt the pain of heartbreak, felt the pain of losing someone important, felt happy but now I'm going to feel peace...after long last... I will finally be with mama and papa...

As for Fairy Tail, don't blame yourselves for not realising it sooner. I'm just that good at hiding my true feelings right?... It may seem like the end of the world now but sooner or later you'll move on, my death won't affect you that much after a few years and you'll finally move on. That's what I want. I want you guys to move on as soon as you can...that's my last wish... I love you minna!

Team Natsu: I love you guys dearly! I hope you guys won't be devastated at my sudden death, I'll die anyway. But that won't be until a long long time and I just can't love that long hiding my feelings all the time...neither can I show them. It will only ruin everything...that is why I decided to let go... I hope to see you after a long time! I love all of you!

From the now deceased, Lucy Heartifilia.  
Don't forget I will always be with you guys! In your hearts and in your minds! Don't forget me!

I take out a shard of glass and slit my wrist for the last time, blood oozed out of the cut and into the paper coating it with the unmistakable scent of my blood. "That should get Natsu's attention" my voice sounded panicked and I should be. Natsu could have picked up the scent of my blood when I slit my wrist. I drop the paper just a few metres away from the entrance of the cathedral and ran away. What I didn't know was the blood dripping from my untreated wound was creating an easy trail for Natsu and the other dragon slayers to follow...

After a 15 minute run I stumbled upon a cliff face, the sea air just begging for me to come and swim in the rough waters of the ocean. I take slow steps towards the cliff as if hoping for someone to come and stop me before it was too late, but of course no one came. _No one's going to come and save you Lucy so stop hoping they will...it will only hurt you more! I nodded to myself, yes it will hurt, not as much as I'm feeling now but enough to make me cry... And I don't want to show weakness when it's the time for me to die..._

I reached the end of the cliff and prepared to jump "I'll miss you..." I said to no one in particular. I went numb ad fell forwards when suddenly...

_**Mira's P.O.V**_

Lucy hasn't come back for the after party for a while..._the maid of honour should be here by now._ I tapped my foot against the cold hard tile floor impatient and a little worried. _I should go look for her!_ At that same moment Natsu went outside his face looking dreadfully pale. I followed him my eyes immediately watering at every bad thought that crossed my mind. Once I was finally outside I found Natsu picking up a bloodied piece of paper... The most dreadful thing came to my mind, _that's Lucy's suicide note!_ I ran towards Natsu and grabbed the note before he could read it.

"Hey! Mira! Why did you do that?!" His voice was panicked and broken as if making one of his own assumptions as to why Lucy's blood was on the note.

"Look Natsu we don't have time I need to read this out to the whole guild please don't question me anymore!" At that I ran back inside to be greeted by Yukino.

"Ohayou Mira-san! Have you seen Lucy anywhere?! She needs to make the speech she wrote for us! Oh is this it?! Wait why is there blood on it?!" Yukino's voice became higher with each question she asked. I just brushed her away and headed for the mic in a desperate attempt to say the contents of the note aloud.

"Minna please listen! This is Lucy's...suicide note..." I knew it was a suicide note since I saw her writing tirelessly day and night and fortunately she didn't manage to hide all her "no good" suicide notes. Everyone gasped at my statement and went silent. "Dear Fairy Tail and the newly weds, lately I haven't been feeling that well, I don't mean like I'm sick no, it's much more serious than that..." I went on.

By the time I was finished everyone was either crying or had joined the search party which was currently trying to look for the celestial mage. I ran over to Natsu and whispered him my plan.

"Knowing Lucy she wouldn't have treated her cut so that means droplets of her blood would have spilled onto the ground! Gather Team Natsu and lets go look!" Natsu called Erza, Gray and happy over to our spot. We told them of our plan and soon we set off to find our beloved bubbly celestial mage not aware that Rogue was closely following us.

After 15 minutes we came across a cliff face. At the edge of the cliff was the last droplets of her blood, I gave out a piercing shriek at what I saw while sobs racked my entire body. Lucy was like a sister I never had, even though we had only known each other for a short time period, that is if you leave out the 7 years lost in Tenrou Island. This was like Lissana's death all over again, but this time there was no way to bring her back. I ran towards the edge of the cliff and nearly fell over the cliff as well if it weren't for Team Natsu holding me back. I desperately looked over the edge of the cliff hoping to find Lucy, hands on a ledge dangling helplessly. But was only greeted by jagged rocks jutting out of the ocean's surface here and there, no sign of Lucy anywhere...

"LUCY!" My shriek echoed throughout the forest while sobs racked my entire body. Team Natsu was just as worse as I was, Gray had bloodshot eyes and for the first time in his life he hasn't stripped, Natsu and Happy flew down in hopes to find Lucy just floating on top of the water not wanting to believe that Lucy was dead, Erza looked like a wreck. Her face was soaked with tears while her hands were clutching mass amounts of her hair muttering words I couldn't quite hear.

We stayed like that, grieving for what seemed like eternity when we finally couldn't cry anymore,

" She wouldn't want us crying over her death like this... I know she wouldn't... lets go and tell everyone what we found out..." we headed back to the after party to tell everyone the news and maybe by the time we reach there we could cry some more...  
_**  
Rogue's P.O.V**_

I stealthily made my way past the grieving team Natsu and Mira, what I saw shocked me more than my wildest dreams. "No...no...she can't be gone...she just can't!" I ran towards the edge of the cliff frantic to at least try and see a glimpse of her under the ocean's waves. Tears descended down from my eyes until they reached the sea. " LUCYYY! COME BACK!...Just...don't leave me...don't leave everyone... come back..." I was crying more than I had ever done in my entire life and that was just an understatement. After a few more minutes of crying I picked myself up and was about to leave when suddenly a familiar scent attacked my nose._ It's been awhile since I last saw him...I always wondered whatever happened to that idiotic guy...But what is he doing here?...did he see Lucy fall over the cliff...or did he come after her death...I'll just have to ask him later... you better have not died Lucy...or else I'll kill you..._ a smile was plastered on my face as I left the cliff face... _I hope you're safe...  
_  
_**Normal P.O.V**_

What Rogue and the others didn't notice was two pairs of eyes watching them, neither did Rogue notice the rustle of leaves as the two bystanders fled the watery grave of Lucy Heartifilia...But did she die?! Or did she not...  
_**  
How was it minna?! It won't be enough to win the contest but ah well I love entering them anyways! Please review! I would love to know what you thought of this story! You never know I might continue it! But probably not... I'll decide later...But if I continue it it won't be a one-shot anymore! Ah well enough of me blabbering please review I would like to know what you thought! **_

_**I have decided to make sequel to this sometime after a couple days! It's just too interesting to leave it at that single chapter right?!**_


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